Little Big Bang

Life has been good since September / I remind myself as summer slouches in . . .

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Hunters Point, 5/26/25

Little Big Bang

Life has been good since September 
                                                                                    I remind myself as summer slouches in 




It’s a bad season 
In a bad city 
For a mind like mine 
                                                                                                                    Hell-bent on entropy 




I don’t feel clean anywhere 

Not on the train 
                                                                                                             Where strangers breathe 
                                                                                                                                       and sweat 
Not in the market 
                                                                                                                          Where dogs puke 
                                                                                                                                     in the dairy 
Not in the kitchen 
                                                                                                                      Where roaches leap 
                                                                                                                                from cabinets 
Not even in the shower 
                                                                                                                       Where mold creeps 
                                                                                                                                       across tile 




I once believed fear was the price I paid 
For an inner world so vast 

Now I believe there is no debt owed 
                                                                                                           In this world or otherwise  

And everyone is a miraculous coincidence 
A freak of nature-nurture
A little big bang 




                                                                                                                            I am doing okay 

I take my meds 
I cook my meals 
I call my mom 

                                                                                                                 I resist the urge to run 




As long as the threshold of irreversibility 
                                                                                                                     sticks to the horizon 
As long as a sliver of ice 
                                                                                                         stays cold in a sweaty glass 




You cannot love any place all the time 

                                                                                                                                        Not a city 
                                                                                                                                     Not a body 
                                                                                                                                     Not a brain

by Jane McBride 

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